» Not Alive

I'm a painter but not an artist. I'm a doctor but not a healer. I'm a player but not a winner. I'm a cook but not a chef. I'm a preacher but not a wise man. I play games but I don't enjoy them. I write words but I am no poet. I live but I'm not alive. I have sex but I am no lover. I touch but there's no sensation. I feel but without expression. I fear but I use no caution. I hear but I do not listen. I'm aware but I pay no attention. I'm here but I am not present. I live but I'm not alive. I talk but I can't communicate. I interact but I can't relate. I work hard but I make no progress. I have friends but no one I trust. I pray to God, but I feel no blessing. I am myself but I feel like nothing! I live but I'm not alive, but I'm not dead either.